Relationship: Do you want to know why a man bothers with a woman? For starters, it is important to remember that we are different not only biologically, but because we handle emotions differently.
These are the 5 main reasons why a man gets angry with women and we give you some tips to learn how to handle those situations.
1. They don’t know how to express what they feel
Surely it has happened to you that during an argument your boy loses control and shouts, hits things or gets frustrated quickly. Many times you don’t understand that reaction, because it occurs even in irrelevant situations. In these cases, the discussion may just be a trigger. In psychology rabies is considered a secondary emotion. That is, it arises and is expressed as a consequence of another feeling. It can be jealousy, sadness, shame, and, in most cases, fear.
As your boy has been taught from a young age that he must be strong and manly, when he experiences emotions that make him feel vulnerable he immediately masks them with rage. Many times this occurs subconsciously; nor does he himself know when it occurs. So anger is just one way to hide your feelings and fears. Probably, he feels intimidated because you are right in the discussion, he feels helpless because he cannot make you understand his argument and the anger arises from impotence.
So hitting things or raising your tone of voice are impulsive reactions. He does not know how to channel his emotions and they end up arising explosively, without control and with a lot of aggressiveness. So it’s important to identify the underlying fears that make you angry.
2. The conflictive dependency with women
The dynamics between men and women have been dealt with countless times by anthropologists, sociologists and psychologists. Due to our social models, they are considered stronger, bigger, more protective and with greater authority than us. It is a social prejudice that largely marks female and male relationships. Although they don’t want it, men often grow up with the idea that women are weaker and need their protection.
However, in family dynamics, mothers carry a lot of weight and usually accustom boys to that maternal care that they yearn for since childhood. Only with their mothers do men feel free to feel and to be “weak”. That same confidence appears when they have a stable partner and fall in love. That girl they love is a kind of “mother” who disarms that preconception that they must be strong. So, all relationships between men and women have tension and discomfort, which arise from this internal male conflict: they do not want to depend on women, but neither can they live without them. That conflict is usually one of the causes of your boy’s anger.
3. His idea of ”woman” collides with reality
Another problem of education in our society is that women require certain behaviors: be calm, feminine and delicate, do not raise your voice, attend to men and have a discreet behavior. But we are not all like that and that can be a big problem for the boys. From childhood they idealize us and their idea of how a woman should be usually dictated by what their mothers or sisters were like.
So, her construction of what a woman should be corresponds little to reality and is more like reductionist archetypes: the virgin woman, the sinner, the warrior, the mother, the gypsy, the strong and castrating, the goddess who makes all perfect. When there is a fight or you act in a way he doesn’t like, that ideal and archetype collide with reality. Women are not perfect, we are not pure, we are not angelic and we are not bad because of it. That conflict between his preconception about women and what women really are, is undoubtedly a source of frustration that often increases his anger and rage during an argument.
4. Fear of ridicule
That belief that men have to be strong provokes their greatest fear: to be ridiculed. A strong and virile person is respected, so being teased can become the worst insult to men. Many experts on gender violence point out that the majority of acts of violence against women are usually caused because men felt humiliated, embarrassed, disrespectful and ridiculed.
Many times that feeling is internal. I mean, it’s not that your comment was necessarily mocking or disrespectful, but he was able to interpret it that way due to his insecurities. So he can get mad at nonsense, like you don’t agree with him about something. When this occurs, it is very important that he learn to control his anger. You need to work on your self-esteem to avoid feeling insecure. But you must also learn to identify those feelings and channel them in a healthy way.
5. Emotional deficiencies from childhood
All this that we tell you about the education of men occurs in childhood. From childhood they are taught to be strong, that “men do not cry”, that they do not need affection. That implies that many times dad and mom are not close or expressive with them. Those deficiencies can lead to anxiety, dissatisfaction, and a constant need to prove that they are good enough to earn the affection of others, including yours. It also prevents them from learning how to properly handle that need for love.
When they fight, he probably feels judged or belittled. The lack of affection in his childhood may have caused very deep insecurities that he may not understand, but that make him feel frustrated when he does not receive affection from you constantly. Obviously, during a fight or when they think differently, the attitude of both is confrontational. That can trigger a disproportionate response of anger and anger in him.
What to do when a man is upset?
The first thing you should do is worry about your safety. Most men are not violent, but during a fight they can be hurtful in the things they say. That causes suffering for both of you and can be painful for you. First of all, take care of yourself and draw a limit. Do not allow violent attitudes and do not accept disrespectful comments. Instead, ask him what he feels like. Help him understand the source of his anger and find solutions to the problem.
Also Read: The Top 9 Secrets of Happy Couples
How to talk to someone who is upset?
It is best to take a conciliatory tone. Instead of confronting him and making the discussion worse, ask him to talk about his feelings, understand and listen to him. Keep in mind that they gain nothing by fighting indefinitely, because what they need is an exit to the conflict.
Why does a man get mad at the girl he likes?
Many things can cause anger in a boy. Feeling attraction or love for a woman does not mean that men do not feel anger from time to time because of their attitudes. If it’s a girl you like but don’t have an already defined relationship, it is possible that your anger comes from frustration because they are not yet a couple. It can also be anything: the girl pays no attention to her, plays on her feelings, or ignores it. Not all men handle rejection well.
How long does a man last angry?
Depends on the situation. However, generally speaking, it is true that men tend to stay upset longer than women. While we women tend to learn to handle annoyance as private, we hide it and we blame ourselves, men tend to react and express their anger against others. That is their way of feeling that they “control” the situation and it is an emotion that takes time to overcome.
Why do men get angry when a woman rejects them?
No one likes to feel rejected. That increases our insecurity and makes us feel underrated. In the case of men, there is the fear of being ridiculed and not considering themselves enough to win the affection of a woman.
Why is my husband easily angry?
They already have a consolidated relationship and they know each other well, the logical thing is that they fight from time to time. However, it is not normal for them to constantly fight or your husband to get upset about anything. If your husband has always been like this, his anger may come from mishandling his emotions. They should look for alternatives to help him improve and make the relationship more comfortable. Perhaps couples therapy can help them.
If you get angry easily recently, something may have happened to you. Perhaps you have problems at work, with a friend, or are concerned about other things. Don’t rule out that the relationship may be worn out and need to rekindle the romance.
Why does a man get mad when you finish it?
In addition to the pain of losing your love, the breakdown also hits the ego. When a woman decides to end the relationship, it implies that she no longer wants that boy in her life, rejects him and continues without him. Since most men don’t know how to handle sadness and pain, they express it as rage.
How to know if a man is angry by chat?
Chat apps are great at handling fast and direct communication, but unfortunately they also often cause a lot of misunderstanding between people. It is difficult to understand the tone of the words when they are written. However, if the boy starts responding “dry,” in monosyllables and avoids replying to your messages, those are usually classic indicators that he is upset. What to do when a man gets mad at you for chat? Ask him what’s going on and discuss his annoyances.
Now that you know why a man is bothering a woman, use this knowledge to learn how to better handle their fights and find solutions when they get angry. Remember that you can share this article on your social networks so that your friends also learn about boys. Do you have tips for managing rabies in men? We want to meet you! Leave your advice in the comment box so that they reach all our readers.