Love must not hurt. Are you choosing romantic possibilities with bad spirit?
Is your romantic life far from being loving? Being involved in an abusive relationship can happen to anyone in any socioeconomic position or life stage.
Those people trapped in this situation are not always shy or weak either. Many are very intelligent, have high self-esteem, and seem to have their lives in order and can still fall prey to this destructive situation. There are various degrees and types of abuse including verbal, emotional, mental, financial, and sexual – often mixing with each other.
The result is that one who is being abused gradually loses his self-esteem until he completely loses confidence in himself or herself and his ability to make decisions that reflect his interests. They feel powerless and are often alienated from their group of friends and family, so they end up in solitude with no one to trust.
What the Planets Have to Do with It If you unconsciously feel attraction to abusive partners, you may notice that you have strong aspects of Pluto / Mars or Pluto / Venus in your letter that are affecting in this way, but there are many other mixtures that They may be contributing, like Uranus / Mars and Saturn / Mars. Our National Letters show the potential for this to manifest, but not always.
In general, there is a relationship between the aggressor’s table and that of the victim of abuse that brings out these patterns. It is also possible that an abusive relationship may be triggered by a powerful transit, such as Pluto, Uranus, Saturn or Neptune crossing the Descendant and entering the Seventh House.
So, how can you tell if you have attraction to abusive partners? You may prefer girls or bad guys to those who seem to be very sweet and have their lives in order. You may be afraid to go out with someone who is stable and successful for fear of getting bored.
It may also seem that someone who is aggressive and hard has the ability to take care of yourself and you too. You may like the idea of conquering someone who is wild and bad, and who clearly has problems. If someone like that pays attention to you, you may feel flattery and perhaps cheat yourself thinking that you can change him – take him out of his bad habits, and put him on the road to healing.
Maybe there is an incidence of mistreatment relationships in your family, making the pattern of this behavior already present. There may be a secret hidden from one side of the family or the other, or that has plagued your entire family.
There are many areas of the table that can reveal potential for such patterns. Pluto in a certain position (in the IC axis or in the Fourth, Eighth or Twelfth House), or Saturn in Scorpio in the Fourth, Eighth or Twelfth Houses may indicate such patterns. The presence of this aspect alone is not a cause, but suggests analyzing the family tree, and researching the past may shed some light on what is happening in the present.
These are aspects that have to do with self-sabotage and that may have a lot to do with it. We seek relationships that we unconsciously know are going to hurt us because somewhere in our subconscious we feel shame and feel unworthy of being loved.
The most important action you can take is to seek help and get out, which can also coincide with transits that happen when your patience has already been fulfilled. Uranus transiting in key areas of your letter may mean that this time has come. You have to recover your power, confidence and freedom. The mere fact of speaking with a person can mark the beginning.
For example, when things got to this point between Rihanna and Chris Brown, Pluto in transit moved over a conjunction between Saturn and his natal Uranus, which was explosive, and brought the relationship to a dramatic end.
At some point there will be a desire to free you – it’s only a matter of time, and depending on how much you really want to free yourself and get your own power again.